The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – Awkward First Crush

58

I saw you kissing her today,
Yup my best friends, but I know
I’ll forgive you, for you are it,
The one, my love, Ok you’ve
Never spoken to me but
When you do you’ll realize
We’re meant to be together like
Paper and pen,
Sneakers and chewing gum,
Young love and desire.
‘Til then I’ll wait and talk to my
Her, she loves to gossip.

© Deb Whittam 2020

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #58

 

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

57

I love you like a bee loves beer
I love you like red wine loves white carpet
I love you in so many ways
Even when you have the audacity to sneer.
I love you like a wedding and diarrhea
I love you like a two years old and hearing aids
I love you in so many ways
Though I may seem obsessive I swear there’s nothing to fear.
Ok yes I strangled a wife back long ago
But she was not what she seemed
And yes I pushed one off a cliff
But she just wouldn’t stop with the cheer
And anyway it is you I love now
So bite back those tears
Of joy and come here
I ran this bath just for you my dear

 

© Deb Whittam 2020

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #57

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – it’s back to school

I am thrilled to announce that this week I was the worst poet in the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest.  If you hate my poem, then check out the other entries here or if you are looking for a challenge why not try this weeks topic – towels.
back to school

Long have the halls been silent,
The chairs empty, the locker doors thrown open.
Long have the weeds grown,
Unchecked, through the days of winter, cold and dull.
Long has the toilets been clean,
The stains and smears of adolescence finally washed away.
Peace has reigned.
As the bell sounds for the first time,
The rodents, the cleaners, the teachers,
Grimace their despair.
School’s back.
So sad.

© Deb Whittam 2019

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #36

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – free verse

Yes, it is true and I am so proud I just had to gloat. I have won the terrible poetry contest with my amazing free verse. Celebrate with me and go have a look, perhaps it could be your turn next week.

free verse

latitude and longitude, dormant darkness

of desserts concaved with sand.  frosted

waves pounding cliff faces rugged

as gulls mournfully cry their solemn

lament.  giants rustle leaves in hollow

reproach, as winter exhales.  in a basement

a cheerless rodent sneezes, a whirlwind of

dust.  below grim encrusted tunnels feet

scamper, fleeing the angry beast, who bellows

its angst in short blasts three.  The umpire shouts TIME.

© Deb Whittam 2019

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #32

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – Open Topic

I am so proud to announce that I won the terrible poetry contest this week and I reckon it was a close thing.

Do yourself a favor and check out all the great work here and perhaps join Chelsea tomorrow for the next instalment.

open topic


An ode to a piece of driftwood

Luke was like a piece of driftwood

He floated his way into my life

And marooned himself on my stretch

Of the beach

He lay there salient

Watchful, still

He didn’t leave

It was kind of disturbing

I considered starting a fire

I considered tossing him back in

I considered getting my dog to poop

next to him, but in the end

being driftwood

I walked round him

Then the tide came in and

He drifted out again

Days passed

Honestly I didn’t notice he was

GONE

But that’s what driftwood is like

Forgettable

Just like Luke

SUCH IS LIFE

… (Pause here to blow a raspberry)

© Deb Whittam 2019

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #24

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – Elergy

I won, I won, I won the terrible poetry contest this week. If you missed it check out all the entries here.

Elergy

i got you out when it
was darker than the darkest
night, when the silence
wasn’t golden, it was burnt
like toast forgotten in the
toaster, when all stared at me
not perplexed, kind of,
mean, if you know what I mean,
mean like Mexican bean beans.

it was you that brought
sunlight to my life, that made me
feel accepted and perhaps
even like liked
it was you who made others
smile, not that kind of smile
when they are placating you,
but that kind of smile when they
think what you said was actually
a little bit funny

where are you now, where could
you be hiding … in a suitcase perhaps
perhaps, then it was the best
of times, but now it is the worst
of times, for you, I miss you oh
sense of humor who stood by me when
I couldn’t think of what to say but,
now you are gone, gone as in absent, perhaps
forever, forever, ever

Ok, the first person to guess and post in the comment what this is an elergy to will feature in the next terrible poem (I can almost hear the envy)

PS – Thanks to Chuck Dickens for the quote

© Deb Whittam 2019

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest